(Excerpt from Nonstop Networking: How to Improve Your Life, Luck, and Career)
Does the word networking scare you or worse, even make you “cringe?” Many people feel that way. Maybe that is why you shy away from the very skill that can help you professionally and personally.
I have a friend who is a great photographer. Her pictures really give true meaning to the phrase, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” She captures the essence of her subject in each photograph. Yet, she puts off starting her own photography business. As she says” I don’t feel ready yet.” I think she is fearful of getting out there and building the relationships that will help her grow her business. In other words, she is scared of networking.
“Networking” is one of the most overused, and misunderstood words in common vocabulary today. When you hear the word networking, what comes to mind?
· Getting something from someone else?
· Using others?
· Coercion? Manipulation? Or…
· Enrichment? Empowerment?
· The chance to learn something new
· An opportunity to meet interesting people
· The best method to achieve a professional or personal goal
· Networking is the process of developing and maintaining quality relationships that enrich your life, and empower you to achieve your goals.
You Need to Know How to Network Effectively
Even if the word networking does make you cringe, you know you need to develop this skill to be successful. The old saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know” is true more than ever in today’s competitive world. It is most often the “who you know” that leads you to the next job, new client, funding for your business, successful project in your company, or whatever you may be looking for in life, professionally or personally.
My friend, the photographer, knows all this. She is a well-educated, competent professional woman. She has many contacts from her previous career as a marketing manager and knows the value of marketing one’s self. Like many of us in the wake of current events such as 9-11, she wants very badly to achieve goals that have become even more important to her. She knows she has to overcome her resistance to networking, yet, she can come up with a million and one excuses not to network.
When I started this book, I asked her to share some of her reactions to “networking” with me. Do any of these sound familiar to you?
· I’m basically a shy person
· I’m uncomfortable starting a conversation with a stranger.
· I don’t know how to keep a conversation going, or how to gracefully break away when it is time to move on.
· I’m embarrassed to ask someone for a favor.
· I’m a private person—when I get on a plane or train, the last thing I want to do is chat with the person next to me!
· I’m busy—I hardly have enough time in my life for the people and activities I really care about: family, friends, my kid’s soccer games and recitals, or taking a class.
· I don’t care for the type of person who calls themselves a “net worker.” I think they are only interested in getting something from me.
· I don’t know how to keep track of my contacts. My address book is a mess, and I don’t have a PDA or the right software on my computer.
· I haven’t followed through with the contacts I’ve managed to make; therefore when I do need some information or help, I’m reluctant to make the call.
I can also relate to these. Networking comes easy for me now, but it wasn’t always so. At one point in my life, I was very shy. When I first moved to New York City, I knew no one except my grandparents, and now, many years later, I have a database of over 2,500 contacts that is still growing. I soon found out that networking was the way I could enrich and empower myself. Early on in my career, I developed this basic theory about networking, which is, the opposite of networking is not working. In other words, if I am not making connections and nurturing the relationships I have developed, I am simply “not working.”
You Already Have the Resources You Need
I once heard that we will all know at least two hundred and fifty people during the course of our lifetime through our jobs, social activities, religious affiliations, neighborhoods, clubs, and other organizations. These numbers can become multiple factors when you realize that each of these people can help you through their influence with those they know, just as you can help them with your influence on those you know. For example, I once met someone in a workshop who introduced me to his brother who subsequently hired me for an extensive project. Now, I could have spent forever calling this person just trying to an appointment, however, with an introduction from someone already believing in me, I was able to get an appointment right away, give my presentation, and ultimately land the job.
I get upset when I hear someone say, “I need a new job, so I better start networking.” Or, “I only network at certain meetings or events.” Why not make networking part of your everyday life? In fact, every time you meet someone new it is an opportunity to learn new things that will enrich and enhance your life.
I like to think of networking as the on-going process of creating connections and nurturing relationships that benefit both parties over time. You will see as we go through this journey together that it is a process you can start anytime and anywhere in your life. Truth is, you may already be doing it and not know it
I know someone who is the ultimate net worker—yet he has no idea that he is networking. He just seems to know people who can help him and he in turn helps them. He always says, “I have a buddy who (fill in the blank)” for everything. Here is how Bob, the ultimate net worker, came to be driving a new BMW for the unbelievable price of $3,000.00. (Yes, you read that right!) Bob bought a vintage BMW at an auto auction, which he found out about through a “buddy.” He paid a little less than $3,000 cash. The car had a great engine but the body was in bad shape. He did not worry because he had another “buddy” who knew about a BMW with a great body but with a bad engine. He ended up buying that car also—for “practically nothing.” He then took both cars to a third “buddy” of his, a mechanic, who exchanged the engines. Now Bob is driving around in his “new” BMW—–thanks to networking!
Building Relationships and Reaching Your Potential
You can meet people and network any place, any time. Networking is a “nonstop” process; it is just living your life, connecting with people, and making things happen. Building the relationships you need to reach your potential is easier than you think. I look at it as a simple 5-step process.
1. Meet people. Welcome opportunities to meet new people, and re-connect with those you already know.
2. Listen and learn. Everybody likes to talk about themselves. When you listen, you will learn who they are, what is important to them, how you can help them, and how they can help you.
3. Make connections. Help people connect with others you know who can help them.
4. Follow –up. If you promise to do something, keep your promise and do it in a timely manner.
5. Stay in touch. After an initial period of contact, if a result does not materialize, most people will just move on. Here is where my networking system really “works” for successful net workers. These folks find ways to stay in touch and continue to build relationships. Why? Because their goal is to build a network of long lasting, mutually beneficial relationships, not just to get an immediate “result.”
The simple yet effective system I developed and teach in my networking seminars focuses on these five steps. It is different from other systems in that it is based on building long lasting relationships, instead of techniques to use in the short term to get a new job, win a contract, or get a promotion. Many of my seminar attendees have told me they had given up on networking because they thought it was only about handing out business cards and asking for referrals. They are pleasantly surprised when they discover and practice the system you will learn about in this book.
What You Will Learn in This Book
In Chapter 1, I start right out with twelve techniques to use when you meet new people, the first step of the networking process. I will show you how to start a conversation, keep it going, learn about others, and be sure to have a way to follow up. I’ll give you a way to sell yourself with a 30-second infomercial, that is so fun and easy you will use it all the time with great results. I’ll even give you some “exit strategies” to use when you want to end a conversation. We will ease any anxieties about meeting lots of people by showing you how to set realistic goals for yourself when attending networking events.
In the next chapter we’ll talk about the types of people you will want to have in your network. Most people will be pleasantly surprised to learn that these are folks you already know, or have connections that can help you meet them. You will also discover that you do not have to give up your “life” to network; you can enrich your life by creating and developing connections.
For those you of who think you are shy and introverted—and that is most of us, at least at one point in our life—there is a chapter of tips for networking just for you.
In the next two chapters, I will show you how to expand your network and how to keep if growing by staying in touch. Then, because I have seen so many instances of what I call, “negative networking,” I’ve included a chapter on Networking Etiquette.
There is even a chapter about how to organize and keep track of your network database. My system is simple; it works just as well on 3 x 5 index cards as it does on MS Outlook™, which is the software I use.
Finally, to tie it all together in the last chapter, I asked some of my clients, attendees of my seminars, and friends to share their networking success stories based on my networking system. There you will find out what my photographer friend did when she finally started her business and how she is using her network to build relationships that will help her achieve her goals.
There is no magic formula to my system of networking. All it takes is a positive attitude about building relationships, and a willingness to learn and practice the techniques. As you read this book and put my techniques into practice, you too will improve your life, luck, and career as you meet and develop relationships with the people who can help you achieve your goals.
Now let’s take a look at some techniques for networking success you can use at your next networking event.
